


Anything Like Me

by Odd_birds_and_booksellers



Series: Anything Like A Second Chance [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27054259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odd_birds_and_booksellers/pseuds/Odd_birds_and_booksellers
Summary: Prompt: Set after 16x16 - Alex treats his child as a patient but doesn't initially know. Meredith or someone was looking after them but when Jo turns up and he realises.
Relationships: Alex Karev & Jo Wilson Karev, Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev
Series: Anything Like A Second Chance [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077797
Comments: 9
Kudos: 55





	1. Anything Like Me

Alex sighed rushing along the hallway he was being paged in every other direction today. Honestly, he was too old to be rushing around like an intern but he knew the game, the new guy always got the runaround, it was their way of seeing what he was made of and Alex was made of tougher stuff than this, he could handle scut for a few days.

When Izzie had announced her plans to move her and the kids up to San Jose with her stupid podiatrist boyfriend just so he could work for some second rate football team Alex was less than pleased, he really didn't fancy up and moving again but there was no way in hell he was gonna stay in nowhere Kansas without his kids there, he'd even considered moving back to Seattle, at least there be people there he knew but ultimately he'd decided he would be too far away from the kids, he'd had to accept that it was a life he just didn't have the option to go back to anymore. Instead, he decided on San Franciso, he had actually been offered a pretty good job and it was a close drive to the kids without having to feel like he was a spare part in his own family. He'd tried dating again, he'd been single two years now and honestly, it just didn't seem to interest him, how many loves do you get in life, he was a pretty fortunate guy there was no way that kinda love was coming around again. It's not like he was bitter about it, no he was thankful for his time with Izzie, they had made two beautiful children that made his whole world spin, and he was so grateful to have a lifetime of memories to look back on with Jo, he was lucky to have those memories not everyone is so fortunate. 

Grabbing hold of the tablet he punched in his code to see his next patient. Kit Wilson, 5-year-old, male, open head wound. Wilson...it was a pretty common surname, one he’d come across time and time again but he couldn’t help the jolt of pain that ran through him each time he saw it. It’s not like she wasn’t in his thoughts every day because she was, but seeing her name there made his heart hurt just that little bit extra. 

Turning the corner Alex smiles finding his patient sat up in the bed, dish towel wrapped haphazardly around his head with a toy truck in hand, vooming over the bed while who Alex assumed was the mother sat by his side, texting anxiously away on her phone. Alex frowned slightly wondering what was more important than her son as she continued to pay closer attention to the phone the boy beside her. Over two decades as a doctor and still patients and their loved ones could surprise him. “Hello, I’m Doctor Alex...and who do we have here?” 

“Oh,” The mother jumped up dropping her phone in her on to the bed as she stood. “This is Kit, he slipped over in the kitchen and hit his head on the open door...it’s my fault really I should’ve closed it but I was trying to get hot chocolate off the stove and…”

“Okay okay...” Alex shushes her gently, flashing his classic Alex Karev smile that always seemed to calm the mothers. “I’m sure it was just an accident, how about we take a look and see what we can do...how does that sound Kit?” Alex turns to find the little boy staring up at him intensely, his little nose scrunched up as he narrowed his eyes on Alex. 

It was kinda strange but honestly, Alex had had weirder experiences. “Okay...sound good to you Mom?” He asks turning back to young women. 

“Oh...me? I’m not mom...I’m the nanny...mom is on her way through, she works across town at another hospital actually but she’s on her way.” She nervously runs her hands through her hair barely pausing for breath as she looks between Alex and the phone in her hand. So that’s who she’d been texting so furiously. 

“Okay...well let’s take a look at this head wound huh?” Alex asks, moving around the table, he smiles brightly at the boy who seems to give Alex his complete focus as he slowly begins to pull back the makeshift bandage. “I’m gonna check out this cut on your head okay little dude? It might hurt a little bit okay?”

The little boy nods slowly as Alex examines the wound, it doesn’t look too deep, maybe a few stitches at most. “My mom calls me Kit Kat...” he whispers gently after a moment making Alex chuckle lightly, a kid named after candy...he liked it...it was unusual but he liked it. 

“Really? That sounds like a pretty cool nickname. You know that my favourite candy bar...” Alex grins, gently wiping away the dried blood so he could get a better look, hoping the conversation would be enough of distraction to keep the kid calm. 

“Yeah she told me that...” the little boy nods fervently, turning back to his toy trucks again. Alex shakes off the odd comment not giving it much thought, clearly, the boy meant his mom had told it was her favourite candy. Alex doesn't know what it is but he feels like he knows the boy, he'd only been working here two weeks there was no way he'd treated him and forgotten already, he wasn't that sleep-deprived was he?

“Okay well, it looks like we’re gonna need a few stitches here Kit Kat...erm nanny?” Alex clears his throat, nodding to the woman who looked like she was now close to tears as she typed away on her phone. 

“Sophie...” she filled in looking up suddenly. “Are you sure just a few stitches...erm his moms a doctor and she said I should insist on a CT scan to be safe.” 

Alex grimaced, his lips set in a straight line as he tried no to groan out loud, there was nothing he hated more than absentee parents but absentee parents with demands really pissed him off, maybe she was a doctor but just because she could diagnose a cold or prescribe cream for a rash didn’t mean she could tell him what to do. “A CT could take a while and it’s only a shallow cut really...if he feels sick or any headaches then we could take some more tests but right now let’s get these stitches in."

The nanny nodded, slipping back down into her chair the girl looked so nervous Alex almost felt bad for her, she visibly shook when she'd handed over the boys medical forms.

“Hey...don’t worry about it okay..accidents happen, you should see the scars my kids have.” He gives her shoulder a reassuring squeeze watching her take a few deep breaths before turning back to Kit. “Okay Kit Kat...have you ever had an injection before?”

“Mhmm” The boy nods perking up a bit, “yeah and my mommy said I was weally brave and we got doughnuts after.” He grins licking his lips. “Do you have doughnuts?” 

Alex laughs, a full chuckle making the boy giggle too, he swears this kid was a boy after his own heart. “I don’t have doughnuts but I’m sure we could find you something nice after...maybe even a Kit Kat if that’s okay with Sophie here?” Alex whispers glancing at Sophie who smiles in agreement. “Okay so you’re gonna feel a tiny pinch from this injection and after that, you won’t feel anything at all...”

The boy's eyes widen dramatically, leaning up in the bed. “Not anything...at all?” he whispers. 

“Just around your cut, I mean" Alex clarifies, trying not to laugh again as Kit nods, letting out a shaky breath, his little hands squeezing onto the metal bar on the side of the bed as he squeezes his eyes shut.

“Nothing is as bad as broccoli...nothings as bad as broccoli...nothings as bad as broccoli.” The little boy begins to chant to himself over and over again making Alex stop in his tracks.

“Nothings as bad as broccoli.” Alex joins in making the boy peek one eye open. “You’re right dude nothing is bad as broccoli...ready?” 

Alex marvelled at how well the little one sat there, he was pretty brave kid Alex will give him that, he was pretty much still the entire time Alex was doing his stitches mumbling his little mantra over and over to himself the whole time, Alex had even joined in mumbling it along with him. When Alex was finally finished he stepped, letting the nanny pass him so she could examine Kit for herself.

“You were really brave there dude..” Alex smiles offering his hand out for a high five, “it wasn’t as bad as broccoli right?” Alex mumbles ruffling Kit's hair gently as he cleans up. 

“His mom just parked. I’m sure she’ll have some questions.” Sophie mutters, peering over from behind Kit.

Alex nodded, from the sounds of it this mom wasn’t gonna be one he wanted to deal with, no doubt an overreacting parent who’d googled symptoms before arriving, maybe he could send someone else to explain the aftercare. “Okay well, I’ve got to go round on a few post-ops...I’m gonna send someone down to do your aftercare and explain any questions mom may have.” 

Sophie just nodded, turning back to Kit, she put on bright smile handing Kit a water bottle from her bag as she spoke: “What do you say Kit...say Thankyou.” Sophie encourages Kit, who’s eyes are still trained on Alex, narrowed little skits analysing his every move, it was a bit intense if you asked Alex but hey kids can be pretty weird.

“Thank you, Dr Alex” 

“You’re welcome Lil dude...try and avoid the corners of cupboard doors for a while okay.” 

* * *

“Hey Kit Kat” Jo rushed into the room having followed the directions from one of the nurses at the front desk, catching sight of her poor babysat up in a hospital bed made her stomach twist, just the thought of Kit being hurt in any way sent her heart racing. If Jo had things her way she'd still be carrying him around on her hip like he was a little baby, never leaving her sight. She’d been in constant contact with Sophie since she’d called to say Kit had been an accident, she almost crashed on the way over here trying to text her back.

“I got stitches mommy look..” Kit excitedly pointed towards the gash across his head which had been neatly stitched up. Jo relaxed instantly he seemed so calm and happy and here she’d been expecting hysterics. It might have been her mommy brain going into overdrive but when she’d heard Kit crying out through the phone her heart had stopped so it was surprising to see how calm he was now. 

“Oh, you did…” Jo mumbles flashing a smile his way, glancing briefly at Sophie who was sat in a chair on the other side of the bed, the young girl looked so nervous, she’d only been working for Jo for two months and clearly, the whole ordeal had shaken her. “Good stitches too...almost as good as mommy.” Jo mumbles, brushing back Kits unruly hair to get a good look at the work, it was excellent she couldn’t really fault it, she probably couldn't have done better herself. Sophie had taken Kit to the closest hospital to home but it wasn’t the hospital Jo worked at, and Jo wasn’t sure how equipt this hospital was, she was terrified they’d have sent some inadequate intern to scar her baby permanently. 

“I’m so sorry Jo it’s all my fault I turned away for a second and I…” Sophie looked like was about to burst into tears as she continued to speak so fast she almost made Jo's head spin. 

“Hey hey it’s okay,” Jo mumbles leaning over placing her hand on her shoulder. “Honestly this little monster keeps you on your toes...hmm hey buddy.” Jo grins brushing her hand along Kits cheeks, before turning back to Kate and giving her a reassuring smile. 

“Mommy?” Kit whispered as Jo shifted him along the bed so she could sit next to him, her hand still brushing softly across his cheeks as he laid against her side, his favourite truck clutched tightly in his hands. 

“Yes, baby?” 

“He's here.” The boy mumbles quietly running the wheels of the truck up Jo’s arm, squirming slightly as she pressed a row of kisses across his head.

“Who’s here?”

Kit looked up at her, god he looked so much like his dad it physically hurt to look at him sometimes, his little brown eyes and unruly hair, that stupid grin that melted every preschooler's heart, oh he was definitely his father's son. “The man from the pictures...you know before I was in your tummy…” He whispers, making Jo frown, looking back at Sophie who shrugged equally confused. 

“Hey Kit Kat...look what I” Looking up at the interruption all the colour drained from Jo’s face as she made eye contact with the one man she thought she’d never see again. Oh god, this is what Kit was talking about. There stood Alex Karev, six years older and a little greyer but still the same man. He was here now in San Francisco and he’d just called her son...their son by his nickname as if he knew him. 

"Alex?"

Alex had been sending an intern down to talk to Kits mom when he’d remembered he'd promised Kit a sweet treat and usually he'd brush it off no doubt his parent would be fussing over him in no time but there was something about this kid that had a hold of Alex, he just couldn't seem to bear the idea of letting him down. He couldn’t quite explain why he had such a sweet spot for the kid, but he was pretty sure he had seen his eyes before, he’d seen so many people over the years maybe he’d treated him before hell he’d been doing this long he could’ve treated his parents before but he couldn't quite place what made Kit feel so familiar. 

"Jo?"

“Dr Alex…” Kit cried reaching out for him, squirming out of Jo’s grip, reaching for the chocolate bar that slipped from Alex’s grip. 

It felt like being shot all over again, a piercing pain knocking the air from his lungs as Alex tried to work out the maths in his head...it didn’t matter though, the scared look on Jo’s face was all the confirmation he needed. That’s where he knew the eyes from, they weren’t Jo’s, no they were his own, he’d been trying to figure out who he knew that looked like Kit when all he’d needed to do was look in the mirror.

“Look mommy it’s the man from the pictures…” Kit grins looking between Jo and Alex completely unaware of the intense unspoken conversation going on between his parents.

Jo nods her eyes never leaving Alex’s, she watched him tear his watery gaze down to Kit and back up to Jo. “Yeah, it is baby.” She whispers biting her lip gently as she strokes Kits hair back, one arm wrapping protectively around him. 

Alex just stared at the two of them, all the puzzle pieces fitting together making his head hurt as he tried to comprehend what was happening. Kit was his son. His son. His and Jo’s son. 


	2. Anything Like Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after Alex discovered Kit was his son?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got myself together and wrote part two. There was a lot of asks fr this on Tumblr, a scary amount and I'm sorry it took me so long but it's finally here. 
> 
> I hope you guys love it. There are no current plans for more of the Kit Kat universe but you can always let me know if you have ideas on Tumblr.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading.

Jo tried to calm her nerves as she scanned and rescanned the park for any sight of him. Pinching her arm uncomfortably as she tried to keep the bright smile on her face hoping Alex wouldn’t notice her anxious state. It had been a little over a week since Kit’s visit to the ER, a week since Alex had found out Jo wasn’t the only one he’d left behind. 

That night had been haunting her dreams ever since, ushering Alex out into the hallway, harsh whispers as he tried to wrap his head around what was going on. 

* * *

“Look Alex...I…” Jo begins but words fail her, she’s not even sure what she is supposed to say. She’d imagined this scenario so many times before, usually she picked up the phone and called him, but this...she never planned for any of this. How could she explain keeping their son from him? 

Alex’s head was still spinning as he braced himself against the wall, Jo’s voice ringing in his ear as he spoke. Kit was his son...Jo had been pregnant when he left. Closing his eyes he takes slow deep breaths as he replays the last few moments of their marriage. 

“Are you gonna say anything?” She whispers gently, watching as Alex leans against the wall, his eyes still glossed over as he looked off into the distance. They stayed like that for a moment, both waiting for the other to speak as the hospital buzzed around them.

“I wanna know him...I wanna be in his life.” Alex croaks after a moment, looking up to meet Jo’s eyes, her heart constricting tightly in her chest as she saw his forlorn face. 

She was tempted to run, to grab Kit and get the hell out of there. She didn’t need Alex, she’d managed this far on her own but just as she's about to move Kit’s voice breaks out calling for Dr Alex and she knew at that moment she could never deprive her son of knowing his father.

* * *

Jo checks her watch again, he was ten minutes late. Maybe he wasn’t coming...maybe he didn’t want another kid or her in his life again. Maybe he was mad that she’d kept Kit from him all these years and was gonna fight her for custody.

“Jo…” There he is...standing a few feet away from her, one hand clutching tightly to a gift bag. Jo swallows deeply as he approaches, her heart hammering in her chest. 

She watches as Alex scans the park looking out for kit, his eyebrows creasing when he doesn't spot him. “He’s at home.”

“Jo...I”

“He’s with Sophie, she’s gonna bring him down in a moment, we live just over there.” She mumbles pointing to one of the townhouses that run along the park. “Thought you might wanna talk first.” She sighs, watching as Alex nods hesitantly, moving closer to take a seat next to her.

“You should’ve told me,” Alex whispers quietly as Jo squirms uncomfortably on the bench, turning to face forward rather than looking at him. She knows that...she does. Deep down she knows that no matter how hurt she was by Alex's decision he had the right to know she was pregnant, Kit had a right to know his father but the fear she’d felt when she’d held that newborn in her arms, all alone in a new city combined with the overwhelming need to protect him from any pain had overridden any rational thought.

“Like you gave me much of a choice.” 

“I’m not gonna pretend I’m a saint...that what I did was right, but you had our baby Jo...our baby and you know, you know more than anyone else in this world just how much that meant to me, I mean you had to know.”

“I was hurt...I was hurt for such a long time and when I found out I was pregnant I guess I was in denial, that you’d left, that I was pregnant, that I was alone again.” Jo trails off her hand ghosting across her abdomen like it had so many times when she was pregnant with Kit, she remembers how scary it had been feeling those butterflies for the first time, the tiny part of her that was comforted by having a small part of Alex with her. 

“Maybe I was being selfish but it was the only way I knew how to survive, so I got the hell out of Seattle, away from everyone, away from the poor pity glances everyone seemed to give the woman whose husband left her.” Jo keeps her gaze ahead, feeling Alex’s eye burn into the side of her head as she feels the tears she’d been trying to keep at bay threaten to fall. “I thought about calling, hell I thought about showing up on your doorstep but I was so scared Alex, you ripped my heart out and threw it away like it was nothing and the last thing I wanted was to see you and your happy new life, I didn’t wanna hand my baby away to you and your preppy wife once a week.” 

She’d left Seattle pretty quickly after discovering she was pregnant, it felt like she was suffocating there, everywhere reminded her of him. So she'd left and people accepted her choice. Some even expected it. Meredith had called her and told her to take her time and come home when she felt she was ready. No one probably expected her to show up 16 months later with a chubby 10-month-old attached to her hip, the spitting image of his father not that anyone said anything. There had even been whispers she’d got herself knocked up after finding out Alex had left, all untrue of course, anyone who knew both Jo and Alex could see Kit was his. The unspoken conversations between her and her friends, she wasn’t gonna say anything and she expected them to let her make this choice. It was only two weeks later that Jo decided to return to San Francisco, sorting out her affairs in Seattle she’d finally felt at peace with leaving, she wasn’t running anymore she’d just outgrown the place. 

“And then Kit was here...and he was so perfect you know? The best parts of the both of us and I wanted to wrap him up in bubble wrap and never let him go." She sighs, picking at the loose thread of her sleeve. "Calling you...calling you meant threatening our little bubble and opening myself up to pain I just wasn’t ready to handle,” Jo mumbles, feeling alone tear escape, slipping down her cheek, as she furiously wiped it away. She wanted to be strong, for herself, for Kit. She wanted to prove that in Alex's absence she’d grown stronger than ever before. 

“I couldn’t handle it back then, I had Kit to worry about. I couldn’t see you again it hurt too much, I knew seeing you, actually watching you walk away from me would break me and I had to be strong for Kit...I couldn’t do it, I’m sorry Alex.” Her voice breaks and a steady flow of tears begin to stream down her face as she turns to meet his eye, to see his own eyes watering.

“Stop….” Alex wraps his hand around Jo’s, pulling it gently away from her other arm to reveal the skin bright red from where she’d been pinching at it painfully. Hold her hand tightly he runs his thumb across the back of her hand, he wasn’t trying to cause her pain, he didn’t even blame her, sure he wished she’d called, wished he hadn’t missed five years of Kit’s life but he knew he hadn’t left the door open for her back then. “You don’t have to be sorry. I understand.”

“He knows by the way...that you're his dad,” Jo mutters, whipping away more of her tears, slowly breaking out of Alex’s grip, it’s too distracting to be touching him when she has so much to say still. “I didn’t keep much from when we were together but I have a few of our wedding photos, there's one in his room. I wanted him to know how loved he was you know? I came from a tragedy, we both did and I thought it was important he knew he came from love.” 

Alex swallows deeply, immediately feeling empty without her hand in his. He’s surprised when Jo begins to chuckle softly, her eyes crinkling up as a soft smile falls across her face.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, bewildered by her sudden change in demeanour. 

“I was just thinking that when we were together I used to think we were it you know, that kinda soul-crushing love that people write songs about. Even when you left I could think back to our time together and feel how much we loved each other.” She lets out a hopeless laugh before her face falls, the pain flashing through her eyes as she speaks. “Was I blind? I mean did I just love you too much?”

“No...no it wasn’t about you Jo,” Alex states firmly, moving closer to her, grabbing hold of her hand again forcing her to look at him. “You know that it was about me and my stupid need to have the fairytale life we never had as kids, I got caught up in a daydream and by the time I realised that nothing is rainbows and sunshine it was too late.”

And it had been too late, by the time he’d realised him Izzie were different people, on different paths, wanting different things it was too later, he’d already burned his old life to the ground.

“Surely you knew nothing was sunshine and rainbows?” Jo grumbles trying to pull out of Alex's grip, failing miserably, as his grip tightens, not enough to hurt her but just enough to let her know he needed her to hear this. 

“For a moment when I met my kids, it felt like it was and I was just trying to hold on to that feeling.” He sighs, running his spare hand through his hair, damn he was so much like their son it physically hurt Jo to see how much she’d let Kit miss out on. 

“Listen, Jo, there’s no excuse for what I did but I’d really like to think I have a second chance here to make it up to Kit...and to you.” Alex bends down hesitantly wiping the last few stray tears from her face.

“To Kit.” She whispers, pulling away as if his touch had burnt her. Her own hand ghosting across where his had just been. “He's so excited it’s all he’s spoken about all week.” She mutters changing the subject back to what was most important...Kit.

As they walked over to Jo’s house, she tried to keep her eyes forward, ignoring the way her whole body burns as he walks beside her. 

The minute the front door is in sight it swings open, an exited Kit comes running out down the front steps, skidding to halt in front of Alex. 

“Hi, Dr Alex...do I call you Dr Alex?” He says out of breath, looking up at Alex, his eyes shining with so much excitement. 

Alex bends down, surprised as Kit throws himself at him, wrapping his arms around Alex’s neck the minute he's within arms reach. “Hi Kit...you can call me whatever you’d like.” Alex murmurs cradling the boy close to him, 

“So I can call you dad?” Kit asks, sounding hesitant as he pulls back. His voice piercing through Jo’s heart, it was horrible knowing she’d kept Kit from having a father, she’d caused him so much pain because she was just too scared to pick up the phone. 

“Yes…” Alex nods without hesitation, holding both Kits arms, getting a good look at him, his eyes watering as his signature crooked smile spread across his face. “Yeah, you can call me dad.”

“Cool.” Kit exclaimed, that matching grin spreading across his own face. “I’ve never had a dad before.”

* * *

They’d spent most of the afternoon at the park, Kit keeping a firm grip on Alex's hand the whole time like Alex could disappear at any moment. Kit had started telling any stranger that passed that this was his dad, he was so excited to show Alex off to everyone. Jo had tried to keep her distance, somehow she felt like it wasn’t her place as she watched them play but both boys were having none of it, forcing her into their game of soccer, both laughing at her rubbish skills when it came to kicking the ball into the goal. 

Eventually, they’d headed back to Jo’s, Kit managed to persuade Alex to stay for dinner and they’d ordered pizza. It was a strange feeling that washed over Jo as she watched Alex help kit construct a fort in the centre of the living room, a week ago it had just been her and Kit but now she couldn't even remember what it felt like to have Alex missing from them.

Kit was in heaven until it came time for Alex to leave. He was squished onto the side of his little bed, a pile of books placed on top of him. “One more story please doctor….dad.” He whined, his little face falling as looked up at Alex, who looked hesitantly between the young boy and Jo who had just been leaning against the doorway watching the pair interact for the last half an hour, she had to keep pinching herself, reminding herself Alex was truly here and this wasn’t just one of her daydreams. 

“You’ve already had three bud...dads gotta go home and you’ve gotta sleep.” Jo murmurs, standing upright.

“Will you still be here? You’re not leaving right?” Kit whispers quietly, fear in his eyes as he looked up at Alex, another heart-wrenching moment for Jo as she realised just how much Kit had been missing not having a dad around. 

Alex nods, pressing a kiss to Kit’s forehead brushing his hair back tenderly. “I’m gonna go back to my house but I’m only twenty minutes down the road okay...mommy’s got my number if you ever wanna talk you call me, we’ll hang out again in the week okay?” He presses another kiss to Kits forehead before slipping out of the bed.

“Okay...night Dad.”

Alex stands, hesitantly giving Jo a small smile as she brushes past him to tuck Kit in. 

“Okay arms in...give Momma some sugar.” She mumbles, leaning down as Kit wrapped his arms around her tightly before letting her tuck the covers under him. 

“Love you Kit Kat,” Jo whispers, leaving Alex to watch in awe at their connection, he seen it all day, their tight bond. He saw so much of Jo in Kit, they both had uncanny ability to make him laugh until his cheeks hurt.

“Love you, Momma.”

Alex follows Jo out as she switches on the dinosaur nightlight by the door and his eyes move to the framed photo on the cabinet. Their wedding photo, both of them smiling brightly at the camera, not a care in the world, all the darkness they’d overcome disappearing in that single moment. Alex wasn’t sure when he’d stopped being that guy in the photo but he knew there hadn’t been a smile like that on his face in a long time.

* * *

“What’s got that look on your face?” She mumbles as she makes her way down the stairs, Alex following along behind her.

“I’m just thinking about the fact I have three kids and I’ve changed zero diapers,” Alex smirks as the enter the living room, he winced realising how much of a mess he’d made today, immediately helping Jo to take down the fort that was covering most of her living room.

Jo was surprised as Alex begins to help her tidy away as if he had any real clue where anything belonged. It was such a mundane task, folding up blankets and taking the dishes out to the kitchen and yet it had her heart beating uncontrollably as she watched him move around her home with such ease. “Count yourself lucky.” 

“I don’t…” He whispers quietly making Jo stop what she doing as she spins around to face him. “I wish I could’ve been there Jo and I’m not saying it to make you feel bad it's my fault, I know that.”

Jo feels her head and her heart conflict as she stares at him, the longer she looks at him the harder it is not to reach out and kiss him, to wipe that haunted look off his face, but she has to protect herself..and Kit. She won’t survive being hurt by Alex Karev a second time. Today has been nice but it was one day. So instead she reaches out before he can even say anything, wrapping herself around him, holding onto him tightly making sure he's real. She buries her head into his shoulder, this is all she has to offer him right now, she’s not ready, she’s not sure if or when she ever will be.

Alex stands their rigid as he feels Jo’s arms wrap around him, the memories of her body pressed against his come flooding back as he slowly regains movent, wrapping his arms sound her waist, pressing his face into her hair. A lex was trying not to let the way Jo felt in his arms cloud his judgement, he’d done this before, fallen into a family without waiting to see if things were right for him. Things had changed between him and Izzie in their time apart, what's to say things hadn’t changed for him and Jo. 

He feels her hands clutch tightly at his shirt, tears soaking through his shirt as she grips onto him like he's the only oxygen in the room.

That was what hadn’t changed. The way all his worries seemed to disappear the minute she’d wrapped her arms around him. The way it felt like electricity every time she brushed against him today. There was no other woman clouding up his mind, stealing his thoughts like there had been when he was with Izzie, no when he looked at Jo she was all he saw, she was his guiding light. She saw the best in him even when she didn’t have to, she got him without even trying and he’d lived so long without her that he’d forgotten what it was like to see that smile or hear her laugh but now he had he wasn’t sure how he’d ever learned to live without in the first place. 

There was one thing Alex knew for sure after tucking Kit into sleep, he didn’t want weekend visits and winter breaks he wanted a forever...with the both them and Eli and Alexis. He wanted it all...with her by his side. He always had, he’d just got lost along the way.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried you know...anyway I made this into two parts and part two is a whole lot more emotional so stay tuned. 
> 
> Thankyou for reading it is as always so very much appreciated.


End file.
